You Were a Liberal, and I Was a Coward

Notation:

I had a vision of you in the dank winter town, you were green in perfection and breathing out mist. A little rain spat down and we rushed into a bar, ordered drinks and we smoked there because you just could back then. You put your Marlboro's on the table and sat back in your chair and you smiled and we laughed about futures and leaving. That was the moment, where I could have changed it. I needed to reach out right then, make a phone call and stop it. I needed to stand up like a man and say why give a fuck? Why treat ourselves like already written books? Why stand here so vacant but so obviously in love, maybe not even love, just unrequited lust. Why not just say: 'Look, we're both human and mistaken, we're both churning for touch and self reparation. We're both burning to be close in this town, in this chair. We're both shuddering for each other, we breathe the same air'. But I let you evaporate, with those desperate eyes, that just wanted me to stand up and spell out clarity from choice. I let you stand up and walk out as I gulped, cowardice overtook me and I should've pulled you back and said don't. God what I wouldn't give for your eyes and your smile and your hair and your hands and your breath. Once upon time, a guy lost a girl, and in the winter mist she walked and he took his last breath. Once upon a time, a guy lost a girl, and his life was always measured by that fact.